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S i g h t i n g s ö Hey! Wasn't that . . . ?

Compiled by Jewel editorial staff - November 2001

 ö Hot Sightings!

Elvis 11/1/2001 Confirmed Arcadia, New York. Eating left-over halloween candy.
Loch Ness Monster 10/15/2001 Suspect Lake Erie. Slowly swimming. Empty beer cans found at sighting area.
Yeti 11/7/2001 Probable Jenner, CA. Singing "Wait A Minute Mr. Postman" at Karaoke bar.

 ö Elvis

7/31/2001 Suspect Rome, Georgia
Burger King drive-thru lane. Said to have purchased Double Whopper, Cherry freeze, large fries. No onion rings.
4/30/2001 Confirmed Nome, Alaska
Salmon fishing.
3/31/2001 Probable Oxnard, California
Pulling weeds in residential garden. Would be discounted but for several spangles trapped in dandylion roots.
8/4/2000 Confirmed Monterey California
Monterey Bay Aquarium gift shop, holding plastic shark and two Snickers bars.
7/3/2000 Suspect Elton, Mississippi
K-Mart, aisle 7.
6/24/2000 Confirmed Scottsdale, Arizona
Buying red cowboy boots.
4/30/2000 Probable Glendale, Illinois
Downtown area. In heated conversation with unidentified accordionist.
3/31/2000 Confirmed Pillers, Arkansas
7-11 at Main and Putman. Seen leaving with Big Gulp and strawberry yogurt at 3:27 a.m.
3/30/2000 Confirmed Pompano Beach, Florida
Shell Station - self-serve, pumped gas, did not request receipt.

 ö The Loch Ness Monster

8/15/2001 Probable Crete
About 6am, GMT. Floating near cruise liner.
5/1/2001 Suspect Lake Barryessa, California
Wearing Dancing Paul T-Shirt. Since when does Nessie have internet access?
2/4/2000 Suspect Andaman Sea, off the coast of Thailand
May have been a plastic inflatable beach toy.
11/24/1999 Confirmed Santa Rosa, California
Municipal Pool. Seen doing the breast stroke.

 ö Yeti

9/30/2001 Suspect Des Moines, Iowa
Waving at Corn-Cam.
6/6/2000 Confirmed Marin County, California
Muir Woods. Eating sushi (inari, ebi and California roll.)
12/15/1999 Probable Humbolt County, California
Running through woods, wearing Teva Sport Sandals.
12/15/1999 Confirmed Lhasa Apso, Nepal
Snowboarding. Wearing green North Face backpack.

 ö Something Drooling Under the Bed

Right Now Confirmed Wherever you Live
Don't move a muscle. That only makes them mad.

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