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F e a t u r e ö Making a List

by Caroline Opal
December 2001

What To Get The Monster Who Has Everything

10 Fantastic Suggestions under 100 dollars!

It's a common dilemma: How to Shop for that special gruesome someone. Well, jewel to the rescue! Whether the monster in your life is an ogre, troll, goblin or hobgoblin, here are ten suggestions to keep him or her happy and drooling.

10. A midnight ramble through the local dairy fields might be just what your monster is looking for. If you're not close enough for a convenient drive, the local butcher might be able to help.

9. Graveyard Tour.

8. Got a neighbor who really annoys you? Send your monster for a nice little visit.

7. Every city has a field or two overrun with feral cats. Just after dusk is a great time for a little clearing out!

6. Visit the zoo. Make sure you drop your monster off at the corner.

5. You know that aunt or uncle who never has a nice word to say? Make an introduction.

4. Bag of Bones. Try the museum. Dino bones make a nice crunchy snack. Wholesome, too!

3. Have your monster wait on the roof on the 24th. Nice surprise round about midnight! Make sure you send him or her up with a toothpick or two. Antlers sometimes get stuck in the teeth.

2. Bowling! Nothing but losers at the local bowling alley. Who'll miss 'em?

1. Starbucks. That whole place just needs to go, anyway. We've heard an experienced barista has a woody, mellow flavor with a hint of cinnamon.

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